The Best Place To Cry
The best place to cry is in the shower; cause you don’t need a tissue.
You can cry so hard that you drool; you can let the snot run down your face and the best part is no one can hear you. In the shower you can go strait into the ugly cry.. no worries about make up or strangers seeing you. Your kids will more than likely leave you alone, so will your spose or even your room mate too.
You can sit down if you like and let the water wash away your tears.. you can face the water standing up..by doing this you might even fool yourself into believing your not really crying.. or you can lean and hold your face in your hands to feel the sobs come bursting our of you. Your choice..they all work well.. I know I have tried them all.
Mine has been building for sometime..stress will do that to you.
I am considered not up to standard by many lately..due to the fact that I do not conform to the norm because of this blog. Due to the fact that I am a good looking single mom too.. makes many of the women around me see me as suspect..the ones with husbands or boyfriends. I have never come on to another woman’s man… but I am still a reject because of social standing here were I live. I can’t even look some of them in the eye as I get glared at..or they will just start talking about me under their breath.
Since I have started my blog I don’t even know who my true friends are anymore.. some I think see that I have been through so much they don’t what to totally reject me…because they really don’t want to hurt me as they can see how sad I have become.. but they view me as morally lacking now due to the content of my blog.. my writing and my sexy pics..and my sexy dancing.. I not stripping but I still don’t fit the norm..so I am, by these people quietly rejected.. just slowly let go off.
It has become very painful..this rejection..if it be full on or just soft and slow..but I know it’s there.. I can’t lie to myself as my heart feels it dramatically.
My spark has become less.. my zest has lost some of it’s zeel.. I just want to get in my car and run away from here.. to the coast..close to Vancouver..close to more open people.
But for now.. I cry in the shower.. sometimes it’s hard to wait to get there..so I bite my lip a lot.. or I pinch myself to stop the tears.
I know that one day this will all sort out..but for now I just wish I could get out of here.
Valentines Day was very hard.. this morning I was very down.. all the hype..and my horoscope said this was supposed to be such a wonderful romantic day for me..with someone of the opposite sex.. of course that never happened.. I kinda locked myself up. I to afraid of more rejection.. it scares me to death.
But I honored my feelings.. I had my cry.. I have writen them down in this post on my blog..
To share with you all..to let you all know.. it’s ok to cry and crying in the shower works best.