Solitude Is Bliss
I just want to be alone.. I have decided that it is so much simpler than trying to impress others. I am so done with tring to impress the opposite sex. The sexy little things I do are to increase my own self confidence.. that’s been the piont all along.
I have found that when a man enters my life he just ends up picking me apart. Like somehow I am supposed to measure up to all the brushed up, altered super models..like I am supposed to have hours of time on my hands for hair and fricken make up.. like I am supposed to keep the body of a 20 year old.. inspite of having three kids and being in my 40s.. I am just so sick of it.
The crap..so ” what do you do?”..”who do you know?” and ” how old are you?”.. I am so tired.. I can’t please one man.. I can’t please any of them..so I am not going to try… it’s just a waist of time.
My life is simpler when I am alone. I do what I want because it makes me happy. I write what I want with out some guy trying to tell me who I am or that it affects him.. how his friends and family see him.. There is freedom in just not having HIM…poking into my business trying to make it all about him.
Valentines Day for me..will be a day of peace..because I have no expectations..not one.. I expect nothing but me and my kids..it’s peaceful.
I have this time in my life..to say it is my life.. I have this time to go deep inside of me, myself and I.
To take a really good look at what makes me tick..what makes me happy..Not trying to make some guy happy that will never be happy with me..because I can’t possibly live up to his flighty dreams of the perfect woman.. I am never going to try again.
I am never going to put myself in that situation again.. I am not going to search..
I am not going to try if a guy does come along….nope I am done with jumping through hoops like a trained poodle..
I am not going.. you can drag me kicking and screaming..and I am gonna bite.. I am putting up a fight