COURAGE..the ability to face danger or pain without fear

by Grace

I use the images of cats in this post..because they have guts..they are little, tiny and cute..but man you don’t want to get a cat in a corner and piss it off..and cats always land on their feet and they have nine lives…cats also represent they learn from their mistakes and they always know when to play, hunt and find the most comforable place to sleep in the place…they love to bask in the rays of the sun…they are positive, funny and they don’ take any shit..we could learn a lot from cats.

Today I had a very good conversation with a facebook friend..she works in the mental health field..she had put up a post about a bipolar blogger..I had some of the more negative people on facebook leave me personal messages..suspecting that she had put up the post to show to others that my sanity was in question..because of this I look at the blog post..posted it on my wall and sucked up the courage to ask her directly if this was true…thank God it was just all coincidence..

With her permistion I am publishing our private conversation is as follows

o Shannon..I am REALLY hoping that the blog post that you put up about the bipolar blogger was not an insinuation towards me…I thought I might be jumping to conclusions due to the fact that I have had many nastly, mean, and underminding things said and done to me on facebook since posting my blog….so I showed your post to a few of my friends who agreed with me that it seems like a passive agressive attack on my character and sanity.

there are few negtive comments compared to others that have supported and read my work..

I hope that this is not a reflection on how you see me..I truly hope that this is not a passive agressive attempt to slap the label of bipolar on me..

I should not have to explain to you are anyone as to who I am or my history…lets put it this I have writen in past post..due to the fact that my sister keeps attacking my sanity…my mother was very mentally ill and because of that..I was very concerned my entire life that I would have her problems…

Not many people have had their head looked into as much as mine..due to me, myself and I…seeing to it by seeking out professional advice myself…

When my ex left me with our three kids to go to Mexico and have an affiar with the employee I knew he was having an affiar with while I was pregnant with our son…

I was destroyed..I got myself help..after a few months of counciling me I was told her that I could council her..

I have studied Carl Jung in detail..Freud is a twit..he mirrors his issues with his mother on everyone and everything LOL

I just think that it is a shame that I feel the need to once again try to prove my sanity to is really undignified and if you put up that post to question my sanity to other facebook friends that read my blog..that was and is just plain cruel and judgemental.

Trust me on this a have a very clean bill of mental health and the records to prove it….

But my piont is..and I am getting to a point..

The piont is I should not have to make this a piont at all.

Dear Shannon..I hope I am wrong..I hope I am very wrong..I hope that you have not judged me.

Grace Ackerman/Morin

8 hours ago
Shannon Born
o you ae wrong Grace. I don’t know you well enough to make a diagnosis of Bi-polar disorder. And I don’t think you know me well enough because if you did, you would know that a) I am far from passive-agressive; b) because I work in the mental health field posts like that will come up from time to time on my page for my colleagues and students who also work along side me; and c) I do a great deal of work/research following Brene Brown’s work, a researcher from Houston, who’s work focuses on Shame, empathy, compassion, Courage, authenticity, and vulnerablity. A

8 hours ago
Shannon Born
o and I thank you for asking and you need not worry (or be concerned) that I would be making jabs at you. If I wanted to say something you to, I would and I would be frank. I don’t make assumptions about anyone and I try to not be too judgmental (and I say it in that way since we are all judgmental in some way… it’s a part of being human… we all have our own personal perspective from which we will percieve the world so judgment/evaluation is impossible to erase. the more critical awaresness we have around our perspective, the better we will be able to connect with our world and the people in it… and that is just a bit of how I think and what I teach… and how I try to counsel… I hope that clarifies things for you

7 hours ago
Grace Ackerman- Morin
o Thank you for posting that on my wall..just when you did I was writing our a message asking you to do it..

Thanks you…

Have a Happy New Year..

I am very relieved that it wasn’t what it seemed like

I am sorry that my guard is up after I have been treated quite badly by some on facebook..mostly those who bullied in highschool and from my little sister who has always been very competative with me..

Thanks again Shannon

7 hours ago
Grace Ackerman- Morin
o sorry for all the type keyboard is sticky cause my kids spilled something on it last night LOL

7 hours ago
Shannon Born
o no worries about the typos… I did see some of the posts that people made on your fbook so I understand how you would be feeling so raw about my post. Don’t worry so much about trying to defend yourself to others (their opinion will stand regardless of what you say to them… if you are purging yourself, then purge away but if by commenting to them is more exhausting then just let it go… this is what I have learned in my lifetime and I try to live by it daily: How I begin today will be how I move forward in my future and those people who judge me or make assumptions will continue to do so whether I try to change their opinion of me or not. In fact, trying to change their mind will only give them more evidence that they are right I about how I am. Now, when I decided that I was going to stop living in that perspective, I was so utterly free of their judgments, assumptions, opinions… and they no longer had the power and were left to hold their own energy in their own judgmental space… they become much smaller then peace be with you Grace

7 hours ago
Grace Ackerman- Morin
o Thank you so much Shannon..your words are very wise indeed…and they make me feel very happy..this is period of intense change for me..I am on that learning curve..In setting myself out..I am leaving myself open..but it is making me so much stronger and giving me so much more character and and core worth,,

You must be a very good at your job..just your few words have been very comforting to me..with your permission I would like to publish them in a post..but I will only do so with your permission.

6 hours ago
Grace Ackerman- Morin
o I do not have to use your name..I can just say a facebook friend..I know you are a professional woman..and that it would probably be best not to use your name..but I would love to use your words..they could help others like the way that you helped me

6 hours agoSent from Mobile
Shannon Born
o You have my permission. Thank you for asking. I don’t know if you watch much TV but I was watching *Bones* the other night and she was talking to her partner about the difference between strength and impervious after she told him she was “stronger”. She told him the definition of impervious akin to not allowing anything in and strength was allowing some things to penetrate but having the ability to withstand it anyway.

about an hour ago
Grace Ackerman- Morin
o Thank you Shannon…I think you are a beautiful person…the world is a better place with people like you in have helped my creative process with your wise words and soul.. I wish to start off my blog this year with the first post being very postive and enlightening..I am going to speak about it is important to visit the past to move forward into the future with lessons well to move through the past experiences ..even if they are negative or postive..only to see them with emotional understand the that the wisdom learned from the past can propel one into a more postive future..

God Bless you and your this New Year

6 minutes ago
Shannon Born
o Thank you for those honoring words, Grace.

I am so grateful to have had this conversation with Shannon..she seems like a very wise and mature woman for taking with me up front and honestly..

When Shannon mentioned purging myself..that is exactly what my writing has done for me..and it is exactly what is needed for all of us to become freed from our own inner conflict…The past is meant to be worked through..learned from and then released from..but it still must be honored as it is were we have come from..

Last night when I went our for New Years..I went to a night club that I have very many memories built up in..this was the place that I met my ex husband..the place that I came to with my first real boyfriend and the place were I partied away my college days.

I realised by moving in and out of my memories from times gone by to the present moment how much I have grown and changed as a women…

It used to be that when a man gave me attention..I would be overwhelmed by it..and overly responsive to I can see that it is just a horney guy willing to say almost anything to go home with someone at the end of the night…

I see myself in all the women as I watch them..I watch the mating dance with the drunk attractive girl doing her best to dance as sexy as she can to get the hot guys attention on her..but she is making a scene as she flips her hair about and her dress is almost falling off of her by her flapping about..but I am sure that once upon a time when I was very drunk I did the samething..I see myself in the women who feel threatened by their men stare at me..while dancing with them..I see them glare at me..I was once one of them too..with a man with a wandering eye..but I learned to let that guy go it is never worth the brain drain LOL…

I learned not to let men buy me drinks and that always leads to expectations and manipulations…A woman should never put a price on herself..I refused a few drinks and roses..just being up front and honest with these guys..that I was just there to dance..that they should give a the rose to someone else who they think wants to do more than just dance….most guys like the honesty..and they apprieciate not waisting their money on not a sure thing such as me..from my past I have learned that a night club is not place to meet your future husband..LOL..look at what happened to me last time..his wandering eye led him to another woman’s bed….lesson learned well..

I am not dwelling in my past..only prudging myself of old patterns..old habits and ways that have led me astray… Like the kitty cat..I have had the courage and the strength to stand my ground against others who said it was a bad or negative thing to learn this way..I have had the courage to fight many dogs ( men ) along the way..the guys that took advantage of my tiny cute ways..I had to scratch a few to get my piont across..( I am here..I will be heard..I will have my dignity and I will be respected )..I have walked across some very high fences..and over some intense obsticals too..I have managed to land on all four paws..and like the kitty cat..they always find their way home..with confidence..intuition..courage and strength..I have found my way back home to self…

This year I wish you well on your journey to self love, respect, courage, name a few..I know you to can be and are authentically you…