A Beautiful Soul
I met a beautiful soul today.. I looked into his eyes and I saw a beautiful soul.. but my body did not respond.. I had no physical attraction to him. I wanted to cry because I felt intense love for this man but no physical desire.
It was not that he was not attractive.. There just was not the intense chemistry that I desire and that I must have.. but I love him still.. that I can not explain.
We have spoken for weeks and we met, he sent me beautiful very creative poetry and photography.. he spoke to my heart and to my soul and I felt as if I had known him forever.. tonight I had planned a romantic evening in my home as my ex had the kids for the weekend.
I bought two bottles of good red wine, stuffed mushroom caps, cheese and appys, good chocolate.. I had it all planned to the Tee.. but when he held me nothing happened.. no sparks, no fireworks.. but I still felt intense love for him. I felt over powering love, but I could not deny that there was no physical attraction.
I felt so sad; that both of us would not have what we desired, that connection.. that spark and that flame.. but I had to face the truth and be truthful with him.
He came along way to be with me and so I put him up in a room for the night as it was me who could not go through with our planned weekend of love… I felt so sad.
Yet I know and I knew that I did what was right.. the truth is so bitter at first but sweet in the end..to lie and to not face the truth is sweet at first but so much worse that if it had been faced in the beginning.
I just want him to know that he is a sweet and gentle man; he is so intelligent and wonderful.. soon he will find the one he seeks as it is not me in the romantic sense.
He taught me so much about myself and about my past.. how I deserved to be treated with respect and love.. what a wonderful man.. I will always love him for his tender heartedness and sweetness.
I am sad that it didn’t go as planned; that tonight I ate alone… the mushroom caps and red wind, the good chocolate does not taste as fine than when it is shared with someone that you love in everyway.
But I stood in my truth; as he told me himself.. I didn’t lie to him or to myself.. he showed me how.
One day we will both find the love we crave and the love that we can not live without.
This man showed me what all men are capable off.. romance, charm and being a gentle loving soul.. he helped me to release my bitterness of men.. he helped me to see that you are all souls.. that there are those of you out there that are sweet and tender, full of compassion. There are still gentlemen.