POF… the year in review.. leading up to Chapter 8
If I could only show you all of the virtual penis that I have seen over the last year. My first time was when a man on POF instant messaged me with his web cam on.. He told me he was going to show me something really great and silly me I thought it was going to be a work of art or something cool he found.. but nope it was his penis.. He pulled it out and started doing his thing. AAAHHHHH OMG! I closed the window as quickly as I could.. WHAT THE HELL!!!
I have seen them all, hispanic, Indian, native american, italian, african american, asian…ect..It has been a penis parade on POF.. I think they should call it Plenty of Penis POP instead of Plenty of fish..
My exes old girlfriend was talking about how she hadn’t seen much of penis in her time.. I told her I have seen some incredible penis..but then what do you do about it.. you know that taking them up on their penis pictures would only lead to hard, cold unemotional sex.
I am starting out this chapter lightly at first because the subject of healthy sex and sex just for the sake of ones own selfish gratification is a heavy subject.
My first experience with this type of cold blooded fish happened to me when I was fairly new to POF.. I was instant messaged by a very attractive man.. He was charming at first but then after awhile he was very persistant over wanting a picture from me.. He wanted a picture that showed my body..He messaged me off an on for a couple of days but his words became more and more cold and demanding..then he told me that if I didn’t send him a picture he would discard me..I like to call him the SHARK.. it was because of him that I went off of POF the first time..I found him to be quite fightening and in my newly single and broken hearted state I just couldn’t handle him. So when I went back on POF a month or so later with a picture of myself he instant messaged me right away.. the charm started again.. then the demand for better pictures and then the insults and the threat of being discarded if I didn’t send him better pictures.
The SHARKS game is to make a woman feel that she is worthy if she does what he demands of her; he uses his charm at first to lower her defences so that she believes he is safe to talk to.. but then his true agenda is shown to her.. but he is still so charming and dangerous.. so attractive. He uses his financial success as a Lawyer to bait her into taking a risk with her heart and body.. the type of woman that he wishes to feed off of is beautiful and vulnerable.. she wants to please him sexually so that she can hopefully use her body to bait him into falling in love with her.. or not.. maybe her own agenda would be to be as fake as him.. maybe she would only want his money and the social standing of being a lawyers wife or mistress. How ever it would play-out both parties would be trying to devour each other first..he loves-great-kissing.. that is his nickname on POF..
The damage here is the lack of emotion and compassion for the fellow soul.. It is the lack of intimacy and the cruelty involved in living only for ones selfish needs. It seems that in our society it has beome a sickness that runs rampant through our daily lives. Our brains are soaked down with the images and advertisements from the media.. we have taken love out of sex.. and we now call it playing..”lets go play, I will tie you down, we can have a play date in my room and you can bring a friend or two” This is a quote from a popular song. We have cheapened the act of lovemaking and we seem to forget what true intimacy is.. the media shows women as perfect little sex toys.. blond, tanned, about 21..we are taught that women are more valuable at this time in there lives and as they age into thier thirties and so on they loose their worth. Sex is used to SELL, SELL, SELL… it is not seen as a sacred bond between to people or as an act of love…its PLAYING..
When women are used sexually they are taught to feel shame; even when women are raped many of them secretly hide the act in order to save themselves from the shame inflicted on them from society.. because the thought is aways there ” what did she do to deserve to be treated that way?”
I am going to share with you a very painful experience that I had with a man that I met on POF.
Things started off fine at first.. he was going through a hard time with his ex having left him. He told me about how heartbroken he was; How much he missed his children.. how angry he was from her lack of love or caring towards him.
We chatted on the site for quite sometime before we started to text each other; We texted messaged back and forth quite abit.. on and on it went until finnally we couldn’t keep up so we started to have long phone conversations in the evening when my kids were sleeping. We would talk about how much we loved our children… how cute toddler bums felt in the palm of your hand.. how little girls loved to hold tea parties for their mommies and daddies.. He asked me what side of the bed I like to sleep on.. we taked about working out, how much we loved the burn or a good hard gym session.
He was english and I loved his accent; he seemed to have a great sense of humor and he seemed to be very down to earth as well. He was lonley and he needed a sweet woman to cuddle and hold at night, someone to talk to and just share a dinner with.. it all sounded so good.. I wanted all of these things too. He seemed like such a great dad and a nice guy.. I TRUSTED HIM!
when the kids were gone to be with their dad for a three day weekend I went to meet him..we had already decided that things would probably get physical as we had such a great connection.. so I brought my over night bag…I truly trusted him.. we had talked for hours and hours.. I knew that I didn’t have to sleep with him upon meeting and that he didn’t have to sleep with me but it was a great possibility.
I met him at his work; he was working alone; he is a trades man, the building he was working in was empty except for us.. things became passionate right away.. and I didn’t regret it at the time. He could hardly get his work done! It was funny and we laughed about it.. he jus couldn’t keep his hands off me! And I loved it!
We went to his place.. things were passionate and great.. but somewhere in there things became to rough and cold.
The next morning he wanted to make sure that he got his fill.. and that is what it felt like. It turned cold and his mood had changed; he seemed indiffent and distant. We talked for while; in our phone conversations it seemed like I would be spending the weekend with him..in my innocence I thought he would be taking me out to breakfast or making us breakfast.. but as I got ready in the bathroom I could hear him eating on his own, offering me nothing.
As I walked into the living room he had my shoes, coat and bag waiting for me.. he handed them to me and walked me out the door.. he gave me a fake kiss goodbye.. he asked me why I looked so sad? In truth I was about to burst into tears. He told me this wasn’t goodbye.. but I could see the lie on his face.
I took myself out to breakfast and then drove home.. I spent the rest of the weekend in bed; my body hurting everywere; my heart crushed, my hopes dashed and feeling ashamed of myself.
That is why I am calling him the BUTCHER.. he cut me to pieces and then discared me like scraps.. he had his fill and then wiped his mouth and moved on to a new choice piece of meat.
I tried to connect with him.. I expressed my anger towards him.. but all he told me to do was to FUCK OFF.
I messaged him tonight on POF.. and I told him that I was going to write about him.. He told me that he had been NICE about things up until this piont and that if I wrote about him he would sue me for slander..His name is Chris on POF you can find him under chris_p_bacon..he likes his meat.. the BUTCHER
So my reader I have used these intense examples of my life to show to you the lack of remorse or intimacy in our society.. of course I have met and friended some very nice men on POF..
I this is a lead into intimacy… what is lacking in our society and in many of our lives..It is time that we taught our daughters not to dumb themselves down for men and it is time that we taught our sons what a real woman should be treated like and that the act of sex is natural, beautiful, fun and sacred… it is meant to show love.