Love and Dating… The Victim
A couple of months had passed since dating Lucifer. I had decided to go to the local college to look into taking some courses. I was sitting outside in the common area of the college listening to some Cuban men talking about going out dancing.. They spoke in spanish and some broken english. They were entertaining to watch as they practiced their dance moves; showing off for each other, but of course showing off for any female in the vacinity.
Then I could tell they were talking about me in spanish; because they kept looking at me and then talking together, they could see that I was catching on so one of them approached me. He told me that he and his friends thought I looked like Marilyn Monroe. He told me that with my white summer dress and my blond short hair that it made me look just like her. I was flattered by the complement; and I thanked him for it. He asked me to go out dancing with him that night, I thought it would be fun, considering that they seemed a lively fun loving bunch, full of energy and passion for their dancing. I agreed to meet him at a local club later that night; he wanted to pick me up at my house but I didn’t want a stranger knowing were I lived. Because I am a mother of three young children I have to think and act with caution.
He turned out to be a great dancer; I love to dance and I am good at it, so it was nice to have a good dance partner. We went up to the bar together to get some drinks, and because I don’t drink I only had water. As he walked away the female bartender told me he had a girlfriend and that I should ask him about it. She said they may not be together anymore but she had just seem them here together a couple of weeks ago. I asked him piont-blank if he had a girlfriend; he told me that he didn’t but if he did he would drop everything for me. I asked him again if he had a girlfriend; he told me that he didn’t again. I expressed to him that I was not into stealing away other women’s men and that if he had a girlfriend he better stop what he is doing with me right now. But he told me again that he did not have a girlfriend.
As we danced the night away he started to get a little drunk and I noticed that he became to intense. He kept wanting me to tell him that I would be his girlfriend but I kept telling him that I was only here to dance with him; that I couldn’t tell him I was his girlfriend because I didn’t know him well enough to be his girlfriend. We ended the night with me calling a cab and going home alone.
The next morning he wanted to take me out to brunch and go for a walk.. I thought it sounded nice and I thought I would give him another chance to prove himself as he was getting quite drunk at the club the night before. We all can say and do stupid things when we are drinking. The day went fairly well, we joked around, had good conversation and he bought me a box of chocolates.. He asked me if I would go out dancing with him again; I said yes since things had gone so well that day.
That night things did not go well; around other men he became insecure and posessive of me. I felt smothered and angry. I was not his girlfriend, and was not flirting with other men to piss him off, but if someone else asked me to dance there wasn’t any reason why I couldn’t dance with them. By the end of the night I had decided that this would be the last time that I would see this guy. I did feel bad as he had told me about some horrible things that had happened to him in the past.
He had been held captive my the Government Police in Cuba; were he was beaten for speaking out against the Government of his country.. He saw his father murdered in his own home for the very same reasons.. He was only a small boy when he saw his father gutted infront of him. He said that he had many bad relationships with women; that he was beaten by one of his girlfriends when he first moved to Canada that she had treated him like her own hired help. He did all the house work and watched her children as she went out and screwed around on him. He than told me how he had never felt accepted anywere and that he had many thoughts of suicide throughout his life.
Because of this I tried very hard to let him down easy; even though I felt him to be very controling and smothering, I knew I had to be gentle.
One of the things that he said and wanted from me that really bothered me was that he wanted to dress me up and take me out.. like his own personal arm candy.. I knew he was infatuated with the thought that I looked like a 1950s movies star; that was his perception of me and in that perception I felt that he was treating me like an object.
Later that night I took him aside and told him I was going to enrole in college and that being a mother of three young children I would not have the time to date anyone. I told him that it was just bad timing, that it wasn’t him, I just had to concentrate on my kids and my studies. He said he understood; he seemed sad and disappionted but he looked like he was going to be OK….but he was not OK as you will see…..