Love and dating.. the beautiful dreamer… part 4
After I emailed the letter; his response was that he was a little hesitant about conversing with me because our past emails had been so difficult..Once gain the game was set into motion with him insinuating that I needed to prove myself worthy of his important time and life.
Let me set up the imaginary playing field for you. Imagine me wearing a toga (LOL) we will make this olympic style. Then he sets me before a playing field filled with obsticals that baffle the imagination. Burning logs to hurdle over..pools of muck to wade through, slippery fences to climb and so on. Put before I can even begin to play I am blindfolded ( like writing someone through email and trying to get accoss the true meaning that you wish to convey) then I am given a bow and arrows to hit moving targets with and on top of all that there is smoke and mirrors warping my visual field when I can peak through the blindfold. That was the style of the game; the rules were constantly changing as well and sometimes there wasn’t any rules and sometimes the rules were strictly inforced.. Do you think I stood a chance? Stupid me I always thought it would be fun to try; like I said I loved a challange and just maybe this time I could beat the game; one of my arrows would fly strait and true and hit the target of his heart dead on and he would fall madly in love with me!
Ahhh yes it always started with I just want to be your friend Grace and I would say that is fine; you never know were friendship will lead to? And so the cirle had its first loop; then I would tell him that I wanted to be more than his friend eventually.. he would say all he had to offer was his friendship.. I would tell him I was in love with him. He would say I know this is hard for you Grace. I would say if you and I are going to be friends please don’t tell me about the women you are dating, because it will hurt my feelings. I would tell him if you start seeing someone we will have to put our friendship on hold as I don’t want the temptation of manipulating you into breaking up with her.
The emails went back and forth; I tried to write him creative funny little things about my life and my day. He just didn’t get it; he seemed to think my emails were suspect and strange. He took everything I said way to seriously and he seemed to inspect and pick everything apart.
Then one night he sent me an email ( Telling me that he had been seeing someone and that he wanted to break-up with her) I thought what the hell, here I am stroking his ego with me stupid emails and she is stroking his other head. I had told him not to tell me that he was seeing someone because it would hurt me and then in the next couple of emails he is telling me he is seeing someone. Ohhh the game took on a entirly new dimention ( like tar pits on fire or razor wire fences to scale ) Was he that insensitive and stupid or was he testing my reaction?
I told him I couldn’t give him any advice on what to do as I would be manipulating the situation as I see myself as more that just a friend. Then the next night he emailed me telling me that he had broken up with her; and how upset he was at having to do it.. Here he had been emailing me ( he could have told me to piss off) but he played the game with me again while he was seeing someone else and then after I told him it would hurt me to know that he was seeing someone he just comes right out and tells me.. what!?
After that I had enough of the passive agressive crap! I told him that if he wanted to be my friend or more that the emailing had to stop; my real friends are in my life in the flesh and blood. My real friends spend time with me in person; especially when we live in the same fricken city! I wasn’t that harsh when I said it; I just stated it as fact.
Nope the email I got back was from a pissed off man again; I was giving him an ultimatum if I wanted to admit it or not… and I was conniving! That really pissed me off; it made me livid… Was I conspiring to get him to met up with me and spend some time with me….YES! Was that some sort of a sin? NO!!! He was being so paraniod.. what was he a secret billonare or something.. was he trying to protect his family fortune from gold diggers? What!?
It was just so incredibly dumb.. Here I am a talented, beautiful, fun, fit, yummy mommy as my friends call me and he is acting like I am this crazy freak with a hug ass; that has a meth lab in her basement! The gloves were off! He had insulted me the last time….