Love and Dating.. beautiful dreamer.. part 5
The interaction tht we have had together had been based on emails or in a virtual medium. Nothing that we have had together had been based on reality or the real physical world. I have asked to be your friend and at the very most for a romance; but even a real life friendship has not materialized. It seems that we have created a world of illusion and false hope together.
You have your real life and your real friends. You have real live women whom you date in the flesh. I have been an email. It all amounts to just words being written into nothingness and nothing coming from nothing.
I am tiring of this. I suppose it had a purpose once but now it has become a waste of time and energy. I am putting my energy into what is concrete and real now.
It seems that there is always a reason why you almost contact me but never do. ” I was going to invite you over for a glass of wine Grace but what you just wrote has made me nervous again.” ” I was going to suggest a hike but……” There is always something that comes up or something that I have said or done or didn’t say or do, that causes things to never materialize into reality between us.
This has become a landscape of apparitions and make-believe. Nothing is real. We have created this landscape together because it became a safe place to interact. There is no commitment of friendship or anything else for that matter. We have, together created a hologram, like in Star Trek. We can’t get hurt, there is not risk; it has become a safe and fake place.
I have found it very insulting to hear about the people that you actually do give your time of day to; as I have not been able to get you to spend any time with me. Even your emails are one sentence or a paraghraph; while mine ramble on with great detail and thought.
Have I viewed you through rose colored glasses? Have I seen this situation through starry eyes? Yes I have and for that I am responsible. I have let this exist for far to long. I have enabled the situation. I am chosing reality now Beautiful Dreamer. You may continue on this way; but it will not be with me. I demand better out of my life. I cannot make you or anyone do anything; but I can do better than this and I will
That is what I wrote before he called me conniving; this is the letter I wrote when the gloves came off.. I was not going to be insulted by him again!
Now that I have nothing t lose, I feel completely free to tell you the truth. This is what I have thought about your situation for sometime Dreamer.
In life we have to live with one foot in Heaven and on the Earth in order to live a balanced healthy life. You are not doing this, you are constantly trying to take your foot off the Earth in oder to keep your head in the clouds. You are not living in the present moment you are living in the past or in the future; but mostly in the past of who and where you used to be in your life. You have wasted your time. You could have had your family; you could have had the children or child that you desired if you could of learned to be happy in your present situation or situations.
You will never be happy until you learn to be happy doing the simple things like folding your laundry or going to work in the morning. Being happy with the fact that you have a roof over your head, food in your fidge, a paycheck to pay your bills with and the vehicle that you drive; you ae ungrateful and your lack of gratitude has brought you to this place of discontent and unrealized dreams. You will never be happy with anyone else; she will never be good enough for you because life is not good enough for you.
Your are NOT the person you were 20 years ago! You have aged, you have grown into a man and now it is time to GROW-UP and face that fact. If you want your dreams to come true you have to come back down to Earth and tend to your Garden of Dreams here first. You have to start at happy to be happy. You have to see what is right at your feet in order to have a place to start from in the first place.
You have depleted me as a friend; you have used me to enable you to stay in this place and I have let you hurt me; because I played along with it. Not anymore; this is a harsh reality that I am showing you but it is REALITY. All of you other friends seem to have enabled you as well to stay in this place of Ghosts of Days Gone-by. I am here as a true friend to rip a great big hole right through the middle of it as a favor to you.
Damit Dreamer the truth hurts, but you need a to wake-up from Daydream Land; your wasting your life away. You will never have the family you desire if you do not learn how to live and be happy in realiy. The here and now. the truth is bitter at first but sweet in the end. It can feel like a knife in the heart but in the end it teaches you mindfullness and gratefulness. I am sick of your whining about work and menidal things that you detest; life is a lesson it is not meant to be easy. Get a grip!
Stop being such a big baby and suck it up buttercup!!!
It is about time someone gave you the reality check that you need so that you can move forward in your life. I am doing you some good here, even thougth you will see it as mean and cruel it is what they call tough love.
You have been up sitting on the crescent moon fishing for stars for far to long. The question is; have you caught any yet? You can’t spend your entire time in Dream Land; you have to come down to Earth to see what you let go to weeds. YOU’RE LIFE DREAMER”
Go a head and HATE ME for this; be angry with me! Blame me for hurting you! Your just acting like a child having a temper tantrum because they heard the word NO! NO you can’t continue to live your life this way and be a whole and complete person and you know it!!!
Go ahead and hate me for it; but as someone that really truly cares about you it is worth the risk of you never talking to me again or ever being a part of your life just to see YOU GET ON WITH OUR LIFE!
Soulmates don’t have t be lovers or even friends; they incarnate into a life time together to guide eahc other in the right direction to realize their purpose. I a a soulmate to you whether you like it or not! I was put into your life to tell you this at this moment because; your soul wanted to hear it RIGHT NOW!
Wipe the sleep out of your eyes and WAKE UP!
With that letter I cleared the playing field once and for all; I could see that he was not being fair or even being a good sport for that matter.. I took down the smoke and mirrors and ripped a huge hole in the fabric of the hologram.. I was sick and tired of him telling me who I was…..
The song from Kelly Clarkson ” Mr.Know it all” sums it all up nicely.. you tube it and have a listen.
I will put it up on my facebook for my friends.