Crazy….stupid….LOVE

by Grace

Ahhhh LOVE! What is it with love anyway? It makes us all crazy and stupid. We will do almost anything to be recognised and seen by the oposite sex…. ya if you are saying not me.. BS.. Don’t kid yourself. Even if you are married and in a long term relationship you still want to know that the oposite sex wants to do you.

It starts very early for us doesn’t it? First it is Disney movies and cartoons.. with the romantic love…. Sleeping Beauty’s ruby red lips being kissed by the handsome, brave, strong young prince. We want this romantic fantasy from the craddle to the grave. As women we want to be swept off our feet and men what to be the hero that saves the day. Ohh he will be so strong, fast, brave and when he isn’t fighting of the evil guys he will dazzle the ladies with his wit and charm.

Ladies we want to be the most beautiful girl in the world; so beautiful men will trip over thier feet and their words when we are near them.. yes we to will dazzle them with one sultry look through our bedroom eyes. The reality is the glitter in your eyeliner is flaking off into your eye and your heels are so high you afraid to dance. And guys you are getting tired of sucking it in and puffing it up.

We are so stupid and crazy for love! We all want the perfect relationship.. I know I do, the perfect great hot sex and then great conversation and cuddling after. And not the clingy tring to hard cuddling the cuddles that just come naturally in between the joking and light flirting. We all just want the (ONE); our best friend/marathon lover..The one that get us, accepts us.. really wants to know us.

I am going to be painfully honest with you about my problems with love or lack of having love in my life from the opposite sex.. We all spend to much time pointing our finger in the wrong direction. This time and for the first time I am taking on the responsibility for myself by being honest with myself and you in the process.

The problem with LOVE is the emotionality connected to love.. when one is overly emotional ( which one can not help but to be with love) we miss the mark by over shooting.. When we are full of passion and lust or we are wearing the rose colored glasses of romantic love we can’t see where we are aiming. The arrows of love or the intention that we are sending out can not fly strait if we are not seeing strait. It is only through emotional detachment that one can clear the fog of lust so that the target can be seen and hit dead center.. We have to center ourselves first.

Ok, ok; so hear is the dirt on me…I have been to naive in love and with my lovers of the past.. I have been to optimistic; only concentrating on all the good and turning a blind eye on the bad until it was to late. I have craved passion and romance; at the same time living for their adoration, trying to please them, tying to second guess what their needs may be.. treating it in some way like a game.. like a challenge to stay one step head of them. In away this would make me fee powerful as I could give them what they wanted before they knew they even wanted it.. I guy might think that sounds great! But the problem with that behaviour is that it caused a superfical, fakeness in every relationship that I have ever been in. By not being more down to earth; there could not be a good solid emotional, intellectual, spiritual or even physical solid foundation for a relationship to develope from; causing every relationship to be unhealthy.

So then after awhile or after a few years in my relationships things start to crumble.. why? Because I can’t hold up my crap anymore…I am getting tired of guessing his needs and wants.. I start to resent him for making me feel smothered and controled; but in the past I had put myself in that position to begin with! Then It all unraveles and I let him have it full barrels blazing… Oh! who I am comes firing out of me!..so this is what I have learned through the men that I have loved.. there have not been many men that I have truly loved and because of me they never really truly loved me because they never truly knew me because I didn’t know how to let them!

In my defense it has been my upbringing and social conditioning that caused much of these behaviors in me; many women do these things.. we try to be what he wants; we are conditioned by society to be good girls; naughty and nice girls.. Ohh what does he need now? Hmm let me see; sex kitten or do I need to bake him cookies while he watches the game? “No it’s ok dear you sit and have a beer I will do the dishes darling. But really your thinking ” asshole”. ” I can’t believe him sitting there drinking his third beer while I slave away in the fricken kitchen all day..that dink.”

Ya that is how it works; he thinks your crazy when you finally do blow your top and you think he is stupid for not seeing it comming after he has had three fricken beers and not offered to help you! This is what is stupid and crazy.. we don’t drop the BS and just say what we feel in the beginning.. Like “I
I would love to do the dishes together so that we can sit and share a beer together.”

Guys if you want to keep the romanitic love in your relationship; understand that being around kids all day is a ton of work; If you should rest when you get home from work well so should she.. help her to get things done in the evening so that you both can sit and share some time together ( don’t ask her what she did all day or you will never get laid again)

The thing is romantic love is great but it really can only exist forever in Disney Movies; real love; the down to earth soulmate love means getting real with each other and respecting each others needs and opinions. Lust is great; hopefully even if it does fade it can be rekindled from time to time.. but lets face it..is not realistic to believe that it can be full on all the time.

What guys should realise is that when you call a woman crazy you are asking for full on phyco and you have it comming too.. but girls when you call a man stupid you are loosing his respect.

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