Self discovery through the sharing of my free book TREASURE

Month: November, 2011

SPIRIT….Chapter 10

SPIRIT….Chapter 10.

SPIRIT….Chapter 10

When I was a child I nearly died due to a reaction from Penicillin. I was about ten; my parents would keep giving me the antibiotic not realizing that it was making me sicker than the infection. This is when I experienced my first encounter with the after life. I would come and go from a place that could best be describe as ( The Sea of Souls ) As the affects of the antibiotic would wear-off I would find myself back in my body burning with fever and vomiting. Then my parents would give me more of the antibiotic thinking that it would make me well; but I would travel back to this wonderful place. I can describe it as a sea of light, music, and I can’t quite describe the water… as it was not like the water here. It makes me emotional to this day to remember it as I still long for this place.. it feels like home sickness. The feeling was of complete peace, love and acceptance… there wasn’t any fear or any negativity what so ever. It was a orchestra of the senses.. it was the beautiful, perfect, natural law and organization of the UNIVERSE.. but even so much more than that; as worlds and labels are limiting.. this place had no limits but it’s organization was perfect. Maybe as your read this your soul remembers the place before your birth and the place of your last death..There is only one life but it is the life of the spirit.. I will explain this further in other up-comming chapters. Right now I am tring to set before you the bridge; that has help me to come to this wisdom; the wisdom of understanding the spirit and the place of it’s relm. This is called my some ESOTERIC WISDOM; it’s defintions is such – understod only by a small number of people with a special knowledge. I am hear as many others that have come before me to share this special knowledge with you. After my experience of journeying our of my body; I was gifted with many dreams and visons; I have had them throughout my life since that time. These dreams and visions are to hard to describe; words can not express their true meaning and impact; so I will share with you what I have been taught through these incredible soul journeys. Love is the combustion force that caused the creation of everything seen and unseen. A catalyst; the describtion of – A substance that speeds up a chemical reation without itself changing – A SPEED UP. LOVE is the substance or energy, they catalyst that speeds-up the chemical reaction between two people. It is for the shear joy or love of it that all is and was created and is till being created.. it is expansion for the sake of it… just as an artist or a scientist creates; just because one can. In nature opposites exist everywhere; they exist together to push each other into greater existance, to cause a force that keeps the Universe turning and expanding. Male and Female are the greatest opposites in existance as they bring forth life through their union and companionship, yet if these opposites oppose one another the ecosystem of all that is finds it’s self out of balance and disharmony and dysfunction takes over. One must make room for the other, for if there was constant sunlight the earth would scorch and burn, but if there was only night all growth would be stunted. This is a lesson that the human race is learning. The sun is the male element and the moon the female element in this example. In homes of many equality does not exist, it is usually the male force that runs the ecosystem of the household and in this dynamic, balance and harmony can not be had by all. In grade school we learn that the ecosystem runs in a circle and if that circle is broken the entire system of life breaks down and slowly life dies away; until there is nothing left of that system. This is why so many homes are a battle ground. The opposites of masculine and feminine must exist together as day and night each giving room for the other, in order for children to grow in harmony and balance; if this balance is not reached in the family, it will fail. The Spirit or spirituality is the middle road, when we understand that all is one we can see equality and let the other have the room they need to be and to grow; in the union of the family we will be perfected in the spirit by the understanding that all is one. We experience the great mystery of life when we open our hearts to the Spirit. The Spirit is the breath of life that moves through the caverns of the heart. The Spirit is free of form and moves through existence like the wind that softly and swiftly moves across the surface of the earth. When we move with the Spirit we are free. In our pre-existence our spirits had no bodily constrants, through the death of the body we will once again be freed of form. Knowing our spiritual self is to live life deep within, by doing so we realize that little of who we are lives on the surface of the physical self. The Tree of Life; a spiritual tree is rooted deep into the mysteries of the universe, the branches of this tree reach forever into the mysteries of the Divine Realm. This is the Tree of Life in which we all are connected to and all existance is connected. You may choose to remain dormant by not nourishing your spiritual growth or you may choose to grow towards the heavens. By living in superficiality we stunt our spiritual growth, but if we reach for understanding or ourselves, others and for Divine Wisdom we we will flourish in our spirit. With courage and wisdom we need to see-though the artificiality that the world presents to us, by becoming caught-up in the needlessness of possessions we are left feeling empty and unsatisfied. We thirst for a life of substance and hunger for purpose. In shallowness the roots of your spirit can not sustain the spiritual self and in living this way the Tree of Life will not mature and bare it’s fruit, the spirit withers and we thirst on. We must have courage in tuning towards the light of the soul by connecting with our own intuition and the flow of our emotions. It is a river of tears; tears made in suffering and joy that will bring us back to our spiritual life once again. We must feel and we must stop numbing oursleves with meaningless distractions and our own selfish pursuits in order to contact the spirit that lives within us. By releasing control we begin to open our minds, hearts and souls to spiritual growth and we begin to see the universe and the mysteries that reside with it. It is the unexplained that are the landmarkes of the Spiritual Realm; it is through the unexplained we experience humility and by humility we come to faith; faith feed the spirit and nourishes our wisdom of it. Faith requires of us that we see there is more to existance than we can percieve through the physical form of he human body. We understand the Spirit by the spirit that lives with in our own physical form. The Spiritual Realm is circular, meaning that all is relevant and meaningful. Life and death are one, darkness and light balance each other. The unverse it’s self mirrors the spiritual existance in that all is in balance and is purposeful. Death and life move through each other, they move through and with each other, simultaneously they exist because of one another. In the Spirit there is no end and there is not beginning, it has always been here and we have always been. This mystery; the Spirit can not be fully defined by words because it is INFINITE. It is through the belief that creation has a Creator that we find the Spirit of the One who created. Look with your eyes and see, touch with your hands and feel, hear with your ears, taste with your tongue and smell the scent of your skin to know creation. How is it that the earth can bring forth food for man and the animals? The trees create shade and oxygen and then clean the air we breathe. the forest sustains the life of the Planet, while harboring the life of the animals and the insects. the waters cool the earth and quench the living. Huge seas and oceans team with life and the giants of the deep, some yet to be given proof of existance. the sky is strung with stars, the oceans depth, and the mountains that tower above the canvernous valleys. Then there is time it’s self, time when the sun shall rise and shine then set and fall into the endless velvet darkness of the night. The moon’s silent calming glow and then daybreak again as time marches on. the season of winter, cold and unforgiving ice and snow that hardens the earth. the slow warming as winter turns to spring and life is made new again. the death of winter and the life of spring each circling one into the other. Every year spring is a miracle, life growing from the death that winter brings. The wind that circles the earth, the soft virgin snow and the clean crisp rain that causes growth. The clap of cluttering thunder and the firery passion of lightning, they are the reminders of God’s voice. The earth in all it’s abundance nurtures the lives of creatures great and small. Life giving life, seeds sprouting plants, animals calving, eggs hatching and human babies being born; these are the miracles that we can behold. Death… the spirit leaving the body, this we can also see. The animation and the personality that was once our loved one has gone and only the flesh remains. The light of the spirit has trancended. Yet we feel them still with us, comforting us as we grieve the loss of thier voice and touch. The Creator is the breath of life on earth; the light that lets the darkness fall and light take up again It is in knowing that we are all a part of God or the Univers ( whatever name you wish to give IT ) That the success of humanity is close, the successful spiritual evolution, we are so close to our TRUTH, the truth of what we really are; we are the LIGHT OF GOD, God is the rainbow we are the many droplets of light that make up that rainbow; we are so much more than our material possessions, we are more thatn anything material that the world could every tempt us with.. WE ARE IMMORTAL

WISDOM…chapter 9

WISDOM…chapter 9.

WISDOM…chapter 9

WISDOM…chapter 9.

WISDOM…chapter 9

Wisdom is different than knowlege as it is gained through experience..wisdom is experience. Through the experience of a broken heart our truth is made know to us, and if we have the courage, we can go and look inside the pain to find what has been gained from it.. by facing the shadows we bring forth the light. This is how we turn ugliness into beauty.. I have shared my life experience with you to push forward this example.

There are those who are well learned in the higher education of the material world, they consider themselves to be experts in their field of study, they are skilled in worldly knowledge; but when it comes to wisdom for some of these people they are lacking. Learned and skilled can be two very different things as you can have a well learned doctor who hasn’t any bedside manner or a well learned artist with out talent. Wisdom is being able to see the BIG PICTURE and taking the time for the seemingly small stuff. Wisdom is understanding when to shup-up and listen, and knowing when you need to speak-up and be heard. We are wise when we pay attention to our own inner thoughts and to the thoughts of others.

Wisdom comes by the realization of the higher mind that is the human spirit and the GREAT SPIRIT. Wisdom comes from being in contact with our spirit as we recieve this wisdom from the GREAT SPIRIT. We become enlightened when we see through the mirage of this life and see that we are all students of it; this wisdom is our compass in the turmiol of everyday life. Wisdom guides us through pain and suffering and then leads us back to the light of higher understanding. In wisdom we not only survive these test, but we thrive and grow through them. Widom is the water in the garden of the soul, without widom we would wither away in our pain and suffering. Without the wisdom of the higer mind we would face spiritual death through the lower mind of the ego. Wisdom gives us peace while the lower mind of the ego brings the insanity of constant fear.

Wisdom grows in loss, because by moving through loss we are constantly growing in our greater uderstanding of what really matters; love and loving. Yet if we can not part with what has been lost we remain filled with bitterness and the gift of wisdom is left unrealized and unopened. It is by letting ourselves become open and vulnerable that we allow wisdom room to root-up within us.

Deep within each of us we are given our own intuition and personal insight, a light that guides us towards home and that keeps us on the right path. This intuition is the wisdom deep within the heart of every human being; like a beacon, calls our attention towards our true direction and purpose. Even those of us that are driven by the lower mind may still feel its pull towards their true purpose, only to think of it as childish nonsense.

Wisdom; like water is here for al to drink of, yet it seems that only a few have the courage or the understanding to do so. Wisdom is the understanding that time is the tool that moves life along its path; in truth life is like a vapor that swiftly moves towards the heavens. This life is but a twinkle, a spark, a wisp of smoke. Wisdom is making th best of our short time in this world, by seeing through it’s superficial reality and finding the truth of our enternal existance.

Through Faith we know wisdom, by being faithful we are accepting a power that is far greater than our own; yet we know that we are apart of this greatness. We are one, we are one with the universe as we are all apart of it and we are one with each other. Wisdom is in all creation in relationship with the Creator.

The world has moved away from the GREAT SPIRIT, and in moving away from the Divine; our collective wisdom has weakend. We the human race in our search for technology have devastated the creative force of nature. In the search for the superfical and in our need to feed the collective ego by the pursuit of it, we have polluted our planet along with our souls. Itis time taht we understand all that we need comes from within and by searching outwardly; we will only continue to feel and be empty. The lower mind is never satisfied, it always hungers because it is a darkness that can never be filled; only by turning towards the truth of the spirit will we ever become satisfied and comforted.

We must TRANSFORM..for this to take place we must find balance in our society, we must have balance in our day to day lives and in the way that we see each other. THIS IS THE TIME OF THE RISING IF THE HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS OF THE HIGHER MIND OF GOD OR CREATION.

Women and children have been put last on the list of priorities in every country; this is the time in which it will change. When women realize thier own strength and capabilties.. when we see that we are not weak and meek or subservient to men or our children. . Women are just as intelligent as men.. we are more emotional in our make-up but this also gives us great insight into the human heart. We are the nurturers and the providers of unconditional love.. there nothing more powerful than to see a mother protecting her children or doing what ever it takes to meet their needs… Now it is time for women to stop letting the world uses them as objects for sexual gratification.. it is time to reclaim our dignity though our feminintiy and love..Through love or ourselves, by saying no to those who would only drain us for their own selfish needs; we love ourselves and teach the world how a woman should be treated and respected.

When women understand thier rightful place in the Universe as true equals the dynamics will change dramatically and very quickly; the world will be made whole and new again.. the thousand years of peace will blanket the earth.

I am here to remind you through the inspiration of my writing and art of the FLAME OF ETERNITY that burns inside of you. As a child I was born with a deep sense of knowing.. with that wisdom I went deeper still with living my life experiences and sharing them with you as tools for learning.

The rules of todays society are meant to be broken as they no longer sustain the evolution of the human spirit.. it is people like me that have bee set before you to wake you up to your own truth.. to the higher understanding of the spirit that is GOD inside of you.. we have been shackled by the media and the governments of the world into believing that we are helpless to make any sort of change…. BUT WE CRAVE THIS CHANGE!!!!

The key is in your own heart the key is your heart.. with the wisdom to turn of the noise of the world through the media and video games and such.. you will hear your own still voice and be freed to think your own thoughts.

I bring you into the light.. I carry this flame and with it I light the flame that is within you.. I am here in this life and in this life time to remind you of what you have forgotten but what you know.

I am hoping that you will listen to the song from U2; GRACE with Mother Teresa in the video.. she is one of these great souls that was sent to show the world the WAY

Then please youtube the as this also gives these writings even deeper meaning.

The art work that I am showing.. is work that I have done.. The Angel holding the flame is called ETERNAL.. she is the aspect of the DIVINE FEMININE.. she shows the true feminine power within each and every woman

The next work is called SEVEN SPIRITS SEEN. It is also to show the DIVINE FLAME that is each soul.

Since I am showing you how to be fearless I am offering my friendship to you fearlessly if you would like to friend me through facebook you can find me under Grace/Ackerman/Morin.. I would love to see who my readers are.. you can all so view my post off of my wall.

INTIMACY…Chapter 8

INTIMACY…Chapter 8.

INTIMACY…Chapter 8

I have given good examples to you by the men that I have dated; examples of the lack of intimacy and love.. I can truly say that I have never had a man make love to me.. they have only had sex with me. Even my husband; he was making love to the woman he was tring to make me into.. he never really loved the woman that he had. He could not of truly loved me because he did not accept me as the person that I am.

I know that I will have love and intimacy one day; that a man will love me for me and make love to me.. because I am sending out this intention to the universe as I write this.. he will read my writing and by that he will truly know me… he will see my soul and my spirit; the very fabric of my being and love me completly as he reads my worlds.. sees my artwork and has my poetry sing to his soul.. I know he is there right now waiting for me.

The men that I have exposed to you in my writing were cruel as they only cared about their own selfish needs and dark desires; they behaved as in the depts of their animal instincts.. only serving to please the flesh and not the soul. After caught Lucifer with the stripper he told me I was a mercy fuck. The Butcher has admitted to only fucking me.. the Preacher used my body to please his needs and then took his guilt out on me.. his guilt for what he saw as his own weakness of the flesh..telling me that I was the spirit of lust.

The others that I did not sleep with used me to feed the male ego.. to keep a nice looking woman on a string; tied to them, as a vitim chained to a post. The promise of love was always there but kept just out of reach and then denied of me completly.

You may think this has made me a desperate woman.. so heart sick for love.. so lonely and afraid of pain, yet searching for the golden ring, the promise of heaven on earth.. to love and be loved. I have felt this way from time to time. As it seemed to be just with in my reach; I could see it glowing, so clearly this golden ring.. but the wheels of fate would change so quickly it would slip like water through my hands. Yes I crave love like every living and breathing creature and soul on this planet.. it is only natural to want to be held to be seen and loved for who one truly is. Yet I am not as desperate as one might think given the circumstances as I have found the love of myself through my many trials I have found the great strength with in me; I know that when this man enters my life that I have been made ready for this great and incredible love that will be know between us..because I have learned to love myself regardless of the men that have tried to own me; rip me to pieces, shame me and reject me. I know my heart and it is golden and pure.. the love that I have to offer another will be pure and true.

We live in a society that has taken the intimacy out of sexuality; we have become obsessed with sexual imagery that has nothing to do with sensuality and intimacy. We are being sold sex that only pertains to the young and the wealthy and we are being fooled into believing that if we have what is being sold that we will become more sexually viable. Sex has become a selfish, cold and perverted act in the way its is being presented to us. Sex has become a way of gaining power and control over others, sex has become a way to feed the ego. It is up to us to have the wisdom to see past this immaturity and to know with in ourselves that this is a lie that is being used to control us by attempting to make us feel insecure about our bodies and ourselves.

When we have sex just for the sake of sex we beging to experience intimacy deprivation. Intimacy can not exist in a relationship that is only based on having sex just for the gratification of the flesh. When we are living only in the flesh we may feel our spirit slowly wither away and decend into sexual addiction. In purly sexual encounters we are never satisfied because of the lack of true connection with our partner. Many fo use are afraid of true intimacy because of the fear of being hurt again, but it is through intimacy that we become satisfied and fulfilled. When we lower our defenses we find our own freedom from the prison we have built around ourselves. Withoug trure intimacy in our lives we are missing our on desert; life becomes bland, cold and boring.

Intimacy is sharing our true selves with one another. It is by being honest and open that we will find comfort in each other. When hurts are forgiven and we know we are loved despite our weaknesses, we blossom and open towards a sensuality tht is grounded in honesty. When our lovemaking is free of guilt and remorse it’s true depths are revealed to us. The richness of love’s fire is gound by understanding; when we truly listen and nourish each other. It is when we help each others past wounds to heal that we establish this trust and deep friendship. When we go beneath the surface of our lover, this is where true intimacy is established.

Lovemaking is our way of bonding and communicating with the flesh, making love is speaking with out words and showing the deep love that lives within. Passion is known when we realize that we do not want to live another moment without our lover in our lives. Passion is the fire of attraction and compassion that holds a romantic relationship together. Passion is the longing for the next kiss, the next touch……

The following poem speaks of love through intimacy in the act of making love.


Precieving your flesh on the foam, I listen to your whisper on the waves

I hear you

Taking you in on the ripple of light, I behold you on the green seas of delight

I see you

I am blessed by our undulating dance, I must touch your soothing wetness

I feel you

Giving and taking of your healing vapor, I breath in your sweet scent

I smell you

I drink of your mysterious pools; I hunger for your deep depths

I taste you

I know or your need to fill me, I am loyal to you with my commitment

I love you.

this poem speaks of knowing your lover with all five senses the sixths scense being love.. the mystery of the us seen that can only be felt in the heart

A Note From The BUTCHER

A Note From The BUTCHER.

A Note From The BUTCHER

He has titled it THE TRUTH

Ok being as your being a nasty bitter cunt here’s the truth when you turned up I was very dissappionted, you looked no where near as nice as you did in your pics but, I was feeling very horny and thought, why not so we fucked. Your grown up, you make your own decisions, I fucked you on meeting you, you were more than willing so suck it up butter cup and stop blaming other people for your own guilty feelings. Don’t try to email me, I have you marked as spam.. quite appropriate I think LOL

Chris_p_bacon1 on POF

As you can see he has no remorse or feelings.. he used me just like I said he did.. When he met me he went on and on about how much better I looked in person than I did in my pictures. But like he said he was horny and he didn’t give a shit about me as a person.

Just like the Sharks comments on my post ( Making LOVE Out Of Nothing at all) The Butcher has shown his true self in this message sent to me on POF..Plenty Of Fish.

I was looking for love and intimacy and instead I was emotionally and physically chopped to pieces by The Butcher

Intimacy Through Strength and Sacrifice

Intimacy Through Strength and Sacrifice.