Chivalry is Dead; the last guy I saw
I can’t even say we dated; he never really took me anywere.
Ya we met in a club and went home together; but it was different in the way that I had met him years before, and I felt there was something special. Years ago (15) years ago we had met in the same club and he had playfully but almost seriously asked me to marry him; he told me he was going to build a castle around me, and that he was going to treat me like a queen. I didn’t go home with him that night or go on the date he asked me out on because he seemed to wrapped up in his money. I was right, because that is how it turned out this time.
He was just so damn cute in a little boy sort of way; and kind of sad under his smile and charm. There was a little cloud following him that night and I wanted to make him happy.
We kissed as I read his palm; it was a sneaky little sideways kiss that he kissed me with; it was so cute, but we had chemistry right away and the kissed turned into a passionate experience as the Bouncer broke us up. I told him I wanted to go home with him; he was very surprised, so was I!
Our intimacy was sensual, sweet, romantic and passionate; but his ex girlfriend lived down stairs in a basement suite.. He told me to be quiet and pulled away from me; he explained that she was living downstairs. He knew exactly when she was leaving for work; I thought that was kind of creepy. I felt right away that they were emotionally still connected and I felt like I was cheating with him. Then I found out that his other ex girlfriend of only about 4 months wanted him back and that she was playing games with him trying to get him to kick his other ex out of the basement (WOW!) I could see why his ex was having problems with the ex downstairs as I already felt the energy after just being with him once. Image how it must have been for her to have to be quiet durning sex so that the ex downstairs wasn’t bothered? That just sickens me; I couldn’t live with that for 4 years!
Now I could see that he was causing all of his own sorrows!
The next day he pretty much ignored me and then told me it wasn’t just about sex; I was mad and hurt, cause it was too!
I gave him another chance after tons of emails and being told that he didn’t want a relationship but lets just see what happens. I told him that I had deep feelings for him and that I could fall in love easily with him; because of his boyishness and the sweetness that I could see in him.
Anyway; he came to my house and I supplied the best wine and food and me; he told me I pampered him and how much he liked it. He played around and hid in my closet; he had put the pillows, just so in the bed to make it look like him under the blanket. It worked and it was cute! As I came back in the room I was talking to pillows as he popped out of th closet. We had tons of great laughs and we made love ( or so I thought) but he said he had to go to work early in the morning and off he rushed after just a couple of hours. I hadn’t seen him in 3 weeks; it felt like a dine and dash again. He told me he wanted to take me out for my birthday..it was on Easter Monday. But the next day on Easter Sunday; I heard nothing from him. I knew what was coming; I knew he was going to stand me up and hurt me.
He knew I didn’t have my kids and That I was alone on my Birthday; I have been alone for Christmas, Valentines Day, New Years, Easter and just recently my birthday. He knew that; the day of my birthday; I thought to myself that I can’t wait around all day on my birthday to not hear from him. I text messaged him and I told him how cruel it was, to ignore me all Sunday and then not to call me. He text messaged back saying he had just woke up and he had forgotten, he was a very very busy man and he forgot. He left it that way for over 20 min; it seemed like a life time. He didn’t say .. can I make it up to you? What can I do? It was one text and that is all he said.
After 20 min I told him to GO TO HELL!.. tough words for a very heartbroken me
I wrote him a scathing email; and I texted him later that day to say how heartbroken I was on my birthday; his one short text was.. I understand.
How could he understand? How could he? How?
I took him out of my phone and I took him out of my email.. I didn’t memorize his phone number or email on purpose. In my heart I knew; I knew he was using me to make himself feel better about his life; he never ever cared about me or my life.
Chivalry is dead; I wined and dined him; I made love to him; I listened to him; I saw him as a person; I offered him love.
I got rejection; ignored and forgotten on my birthday.
I got a broken heart.. Chivalry is dead because he didn’t have enough class to say he was sorry.
Not even a sorry.
Chivalry means courteous and considerate behaviour towads women.
To me he wasn’t just some guy I slept with from the bar; to me he was a sweet man that I wanted to love and be loved by.
Most women don’t have sex for sex; they have sex to make love; to give love and recieve love.
I thought this one would be different; but instead.. chivalry is dead
And I am sad.